TaunTaun again, here under notice that if I keep doing this, I’m going to have to get my own blog. Pfft. Anyway, the title of today’s official, yet not-exactly-pagan Monday Morning Rant doesn’t mean that I think everything should be all serious business, all the time. Kind of the opposite, actually. Today, we cover a monster pet peeve of mine- people who lack the ability to let things go. I’m not talking about holding a grudge, or staying upset about something longer than may be reasonable. No, today’s grumblings are about people who like to treat life like a game scored in points. Apparently, the way you get points is by being an obstinate jerk to everyone around you.
Well, that’s somewhat inflammatory, isn’t it? Let me explain via example. Exhibit A- You’re driving down the highway when you see somebody tailgating you. Do you react by getting over a lane and letting this person pass you, because hey, if they want to get a speeding ticket, you won’t stop them? Or do you slow down to ten miles below the speed limit to teach that jerk a lesson, and that’ll show him? If you chose option two, I have bad news- you’re an asshole. No, the guy behind you shouldn’t have been tailgating you, and that’s his fault. Likewise, by slowing down, you’re creating MORE of an accident risk, slowing down everyone else behind you, and you’ve upgraded the guy behind you from Bad Driver to Angry Bad Driver. Sorry, you don’t collect any XP or gold, but you might get the Tire Iron Through The Window achievement if you pissed off the wrong person.
Exhibit B finds us looking back at my college days, to my roommate for about two weeks in my senior year. I'd had a spectacular streak of luck with roommates in prior years, all of whom were clean, quiet, and overall nice guys. In fact, I was pretty much the lousy one in those situations. But I got a bit of comeuppance on that year. This roommate kept ludicrous hours and threw tantrums when I would ask him to turn his music down a little at 4:30 AM. He ate nothing but delivery pizza and left all of it in the mini-fridge, leaving no room for anything else. He showered maybe once or twice in the three weeks I lived with him. But his crowning glory was his assertion that the fridge made too much noise at night, so he just unplugged it instead. You get the idea- total disaster. So I took the necessary steps to move the hell out, which were greatly sped up by my understanding RA. I told an acquaintance all this a few weeks after the fact, and the only observation was "Well, you were the one who moved out, so you kinda lost, you know? He gets to stay." This just blew my mind, really. I get what I want(a room not inhabited by a cousin of Jabba the Hutt),and somehow I've "lost"? Er...alright, then, I guess I'll go walk to the locker room hanging my head in shame. And then jump on my bed and have a one-man dance party. In my new single room. Yeah, I laugh like this every time I lose.
Exhibit C is something we all do to some extent, probably without even realizing it a lot of the time. We all like to talk about things we’re interested in with our friends, whether it’s movies, TV, music, video games, sports, or whatever you’re into. How many times have you been talking about something with someone, and gotten into an argument over who told who about it, or who was listening to it first, or some other point of contention that doesn’t make a freaking bit of difference? Okay, fine, you told me about this band. In fact, you know what, you invented them. You were their founding member. Can I go back to listening now? Awesome, thanks. Like I said, we’re all guilty of this at some point or another, but some people will just not rest until they get credit for telling you about that band you like, or that show you watched. Once again, no XP or gold for winning that battle. In fact, if you check your inventory, you might have lost a friend or two.
My question is, why? What do we get out of this kind of petty, arbitrary nonsense? When I catch myself doing this(because yeah, I do it too) ten minutes after the fact, I’ll stop and think “Why did I even care about that?” I don't pat myself on the back for a point well-argued, I mostly just wonder why I'm being such a stuck-up jerk. It’s not important. It doesn’t make my day better. Sometimes it makes it worse, in fact. One of the reasons why my marriage to Pennanti is in solid working order is the fact that we both hate this kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things we’ll stay up arguing about until much later than we should have, but we like to think they’re serious issues that need resolving. These things do not include fighting over who did or didn’t do the dishes, or the laundry, or the kitty litter.
The words “I’m sorry”, “I was wrong” or “You were right” don’t taste all that great coming out, but they’re important ones if you plan on having functional social relationships that run on something other than shared spite, one-upmanship, and schadenfreude. Because sometimes, you ARE wrong. Sometimes, they're right. And sometimes you damn well should be apologizing. Seriously guys, let’s take a step back and consider what’s really worth making a stink about here. You might be pleasantly surprised at how much easier day-to-day living gets when you learn to stop, breathe, and just let stuff go. Life’s too short to keep a tally sheet.
end transmission
No comments:
Post a Comment