On Weddings and Sermons

Busy couple of weeks, June is! Went to a wedding two weeks ago, then had Taun-Taun’s birthday and our anniversary. All was happy and good, I'm pleased to say.

The wedding, though, that was interesting. We gathered in Connecticut to witness the union (on the shoreline, how sweet is that?) of The Manly Italian and The Amazon. I’ve known The Amazon since the beginnings of college, and The Manly Italian only slightly less time. They’ve been together for years, and there are few partnerships better matched in love and aggression. As it happens, the Amazon is an atheist and the Manly Italian is Christian. She went with the religious ceremony only for her sweetie ad her in laws. She was not converting, a point that they’ve both been cheerfully clear on for a long time.
Too bad no one told the priest. (I’d call her a priestess, but that’s too much a term of respect for me.) Having been asked to take the term “good Christian wife” out of the vows, Priesty used it anyway. The Amazon actually broke out into giggles halfway through her vows, and dropped the adjective, much to everyone's amusement. Then, having successfully quoted the bible verse they requested (The one about Love being kind and never angry, or something like that. I suppose, in context, it comes up somewhere in the story of Ruth. Standard wedding fare, nevertheless.) Priesty went on to tell the whole tale of Ruth and what a good example for this couple it was.

At least, according to the priest, Ruth gets married and leaves her entire family and way of life behind. Her husband quickly dies, and she cleaves to her mother in law, taking on her new family’s customs and beliefs. Wink, wink. Nudge. Get it yet? About this time, our two lovebirds are obviously mouthing to each other at the altar, “Did you ask for this?” “No! She should be done already!” and Priesty quickly backed off, perhaps realizing that the bride was considering taking the microphone away, if only so the supposedly 15-minute, now 30 minutes ceremony would be done and the standing crowd could sit down.

It was cleverly done, Priesty's sermon, as the entire crowd was split between the twin thoughts of, “Did you really just tell The Amazon that she’s a Christian now whether she likes it or not?” and “Wait, can you go back to the part where the groom dies in, like, 5 minutes? And explain how that’s a good wedding story?” So no one could really object.

So, all in all, she managed to be both bizarre and completely inappropriate**, while not dampening the fact that everyone was extremely happy to see this couple get wed. The rest of the wedding was standard – too much to drink, lots of dancing, and some extremely excellent cake. A good Christian wedding, indeed.

Speaking of which, I’m terribly happy I got married last year, because I live in New York State, and there’s not going to be a wedding venue unbooked for a long, long time this year! I campaigned with The Human Rights Campaign to help make it happen – and while we couldn’t sway Robach (I’ll remember you come Election time, buddy.), we totally flipped Alesi! (I’ll remember you too, but in a far more pleasant fashion.) Rochester area helped make it happen, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

Blessed Be,
Pennanti

**Though not as inappropriate as a guest, at a different wedding last year, shouting ‘Fornication!” into the microphone several times at the reception. He really set the bar with that one.

I havn't heard from you in forever!

The title looks like a poor excuse for not posting, but it's not. (I have many poor excuses for not posting, but that's not one of them!)

Have you ever been randomly contacted by someone, out of the blue, that you havn't spoken with in years? I'm not talking about the facebook friend request - that's a split second of drunken nostalgia, generally, and forgotten by both parties just as quickly. I'm speaking of the text, or email, or phone call, that comes out of the blue.

Me, I'm a suspicious person by nature. When this happens, I invariably string the conversation along, wondering, "What do you want??" until some kind of answer presents itself. Except when it doesn't.

A few weeks ago, I received a text out of the blue, early Friday morning. "Happy Shabbos!"

Ooookay. After a brief flurry of "wrong number", "Isn't this Pennanti?", etc, it was established that this was from a kid I knew from college that I haven't spoken to in over 5 years. And this was how he chose to break the ice. Happy Shabbos.

We texted back and forth all morning, as he subtly and not subtly worked his way around to whatever he was wondering. He quickly established that he was happily married, so that's the Number One reason smacked down. (On a side note, that may be why I'm cynical. 80% of these 'random' catch-ups have boiled down to "So, are you single? No? Peace!")

After talking about being near rabbi-school completion, he finally sent an almost straight-forward question - "So, are you still on the same spiritual resume path as when I last knew you?"

Something about the question tweaked, in my mind. I knew, *this* is what he was trying to work around to. 'Yep, still pagan!"

And then he disappeared again. I didn't bother sending any follow-up texts - the silence pretty much answered my question, about what he wanted.

But it still irks me a bit. Who contacts someone after half a decade, just to ask if they're still the same religion? Rabbi-boy, apparently. What is up with that?

Blessed Be,

Pennanti